Clients tell me that the feelings associated with their partners having an affair are difficult to cope with. They feel betrayed, disempowered, angry , sad, rejected, abandoned, unimportant, unloved and their sense of self left tarnished. Is there a way back from this? To some extent it depends on the circumstances and what form that "other woman" takes.
Partners may have an affair with alcohol, other drugs, sport, "the boys/girls" work or indeed another person.
To replace the intimate relationship with anything else always causes a problem. The lack of trust causes people to do things they would not ordinarily do such as check their partners phone, their personal effects, their story about where they have been, with whom etc,
Do couples have other relationships when they have an existing meaningful and loving relationship? Only by arrangement. The rest of the time it is a real sign of other unresolved issues.
Couples who have experienced one partner who have had a single or multiple concurrent intimate relationship require support, understanding and a willingness to undertake therapy to enable them to look at all the issues that brought them to that point. Saying sorry is important but is certainly not the whole story.
Sometimes it becomes clear to both or either partner that the only option is to separate, sometimes healing and change takes place and they can continue in a new and renegotiated relationship.
Giving Your Life Direction
www.richardhughesandassociates.com.au
